be happy

And I think the first sign you notice when you begin to gain feelings towards a person, is just how easily you get jealous when they give others the attention which you crave.

—Unknown  (via asdfghjkllove)

(Source: hannahhpricee, via life-of-a-teenage-loner)

1. I have read your favorite book six times since we broke up. The ending is stupid and cliche. It hurts more every time I read it.

2. My mother stopped by today. She asked me why all the plants are dead.

3. I was shaking so hard I spilled coffee down my shirt. It burned my chest but not as much as you do.

4. I can’t breathe. I don’t really want to anymore anyway.

5. I’ve stopped writing. My new favorite hobby is tearing myself apart.

6. I feel knives in my chest when you speak.

7. I was supposed to go to dinner with my best friend but I couldn’t get out of bed. People keep telling me they miss me. I wish I had it in me to miss them back.

8. Sometimes I still feel you. Those are the nights when I choke on vodka and drag razor blades across the spots you liked to touch me.

9. I saw you walking down the street and I swear I could hear my ribs crack.

10. I keep telling my father that I’m fine but he doesn’t believe me.

11. There’s a hole in my chest where you used to be.

12. Maybe all the stars in the sky are dead.

13. It’s so fucking terrifying the way love still lingers in your bones even after it disappears from the air.

14. When I was little I was scared of dying. Now I’m only afraid of missing you forever.

15. I should probably stop smoking. I should probably stop drinking. I should probably stop crying when someone says your name. I should probably stop leaving the back door unlocked incase you come home.

—I haven’t been doing very well without you   (via loveisako)

(Source: extrasad, via loveisako)

I am the kind of girl that you take home to meet your mom
and she loves me
when you are mean to me
and lose me,
she will ask why I’m not around
did she ever do that before?

I am the kind of girl that you give up the late night text messages
with your ex-girlfriend for
she makes you feel like shit anyways
and the reason why you stopped being on your phone
all the damn time
trying to flirt with someone you hardly even know
to fill a void

but if you don’t drop that for me
I won’t stay long
I’m not the kind of girl
who gets caught in a web
with someone who doesn’t look towards the future

I am the kind of girl who would rather be alone
than with someone who always puts me second (never again)
and I am not to be pushed to the side
I am not an option
I am all or nothing
does that intimidate you?

I am the kind of girl
that makes you wonder why you didn’t look more carefully at the sky
before you met me
you probably trust me
and think I could complete you
(maybe I will)

and the kind of girl who is terrified of you
because she doesn’t know how to let someone in
because I like your mom too and I don’t want
her to text me six months from now saying
it had been a pleasure to know me
and she wishes I was still around

purtie:

the colors of the sky and the water just looked looked so nice together i had to take this

purtie:

the colors of the sky and the water just looked looked so nice together i had to take this

(via amour-sombre)

Did you ever meet someone and have them totally change your life? That every thought you ever had about life and yourself was changed … the way you look at life and people and even breathe. It’s like all that time you were hiding inside yourself till that person came into your life and suddenly everything was different. But even though they changed the way you looked and felt about things, they made you perhaps a little more cynical and untrusting of the world. And somehow it has to be learned that it’s possible to trust again. And not everyone is going to stare you in the face and lie to you. But it’s learning that, that’s the hard part. It’s not going to happen in a day … a week, or a month, but pretty soon you’ll begin to realize that not everyone is going to hurt you. And that’s when you’re happy.

—Daily Relatable Love Quotes (via thelovewhisperer)

(via thelovewhisperer)

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is eight years old, she’s got pink cheeks that her grandmother calls chubby. She wants a second cookie but her aunt says “you’ll get huge if you keep eating.” She wants a dress and the woman in the changing room says “she’ll probably need a large in that.” She wants to have dessert and her waiter says “After all that dinner you just had? You must be really hungry!” and her parents laugh.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is eleven and she is picked second-to-last in gym class. She watches a cartoon and sees that everyone who is annoying is drawn with a big wide body, all sweaty and panting. At night she dreams she is swelling like the ocean over seabeds. When she wakes up, she skips school.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is thirteen and her friends are stick-thin ballerinas with valleys between their hipbones. She is instead developing the wide curves of her mother. She says she is thick but her friends argue that she’s “muscular” and for some reason this hurts worse than just admitting that she jiggles when she walks and she’ll never be a dancer. Eating seconds of anything feels like she’s breaking some unspoken rule. The word “indulgent” starts to go along with “food.”

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is fourteen and she has stopped drinking soda and juice because they bloat you. She always takes the stairs. She fidgets when she has to sit still. Whenever she goes out for ice cream, she leaves half at the bottom - but someone else always leaves more and she feels like she’s falling. She pretends to like salad more than she does. She feels eyes burrowing through her body while she eats lunch. Kate Moss tells her nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but she just feels like she is wilting.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is fifteen the first time her father says “you’re getting gaunt.” She rolls her eyes. She eats one meal a day but thinks she stays the same size. Every time she picks up a brownie she thinks of the people she sees on t.v. and every time she has cake, she thinks of the one million magazine articles on restricting calories. She used to have no idea a flat stomach was supposed to be beautiful until she saw advice on how to achieve it. She cuts back on everything. She controls. They tell her she’s getting too thin but she doesn’t believe it.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is sixteen and tearing herself into shreds in order for a thigh gap big enough to hush the screams in her head. She doesn’t “indulge,” ever. She can’t go out with friends, they expect her to eat. She damns her sweet tooth directly to hell. It’s coffee for breakfast and tea for lunch and if there’s dance that evening, two cups of water and then maybe an apple. She lies all the time until she thinks the words will rot her teeth. She dreams about food when she sleeps. Her aunt begs her to eat anything, even just a small cookie. They say, “One bite won’t make you fat, will it, darling?”

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is seventeen and too sick to go to prom because she can’t stand up for very long. She thinks she wouldn’t look good in a dress anyway. Her nails are blue and not because they are painted. Her hair is too thin to do anything with. She’s tired all the time and always distracted. She once absently mentions the caloric value of grapes to the boy she is with and he looks at her like she’s gone insane and in that moment she realizes most people don’t have numbers constantly scrolling in their heads. She swallows hard and tries to figure out where it all went wrong, why more than a granola bar for a meal makes her feel sick, why she tastes disease and courts with death. She misses sleep. She misses being able to dream. She misses being herself instead of just being empty.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is twenty and writes poetry and is a healthy weight and still fights down the voices every single day. She puts food in her mouth and sometimes cries about it but more and more often feels good, feels balanced. Her cheeks are pink and they are chubby and soft and no longer growing slight fur. Her hair is long and it is beautiful. She still picks herself apart in the mirror, but she’s starting to get better about it. She wears the dress she likes even if it only fits her in a large and she doesn’t feel like a failure for it. She is falling in love with the fat on her hips.

She is eating out with friends and not worrying about finding the lowest calorie item on the menu when she hears a mother tell her four year old daughter “You can’t have ice cream, we just had dinner.
You don’t want to end up as a fat little girl.”

Why do we constantly do this to our children? /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)

(via bipolarizing)

lubricates:

do you ever feel like you aren’t good enough for someone so you literally just give up

(via feellng)